Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize