Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
