just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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