Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
