At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Randomize
