all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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