You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
