Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Randomize
