speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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