One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
