I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
