I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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