Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
