He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
