On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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