Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
