While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Randomize
