apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Randomize
