He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize