You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
