if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
