think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Randomize
