I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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