I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
