I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Randomize
