dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I will pee on everything he values.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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