Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
