i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
