I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
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