Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i think my mom watched the whole time
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
