No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
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