if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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