next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
