I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Randomize
