Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
