we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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