You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
My sheets look like a crime scene.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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