I love black thongs
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
should my penis look like a turkey
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
