nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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