Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Randomize
