You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Small penises have feelings too.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I think my moral compass just broke
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