It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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