so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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