I feel great
I just peed on a car
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
