I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
