im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize
