yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
