I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Randomize
