How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
it's great music for shaving your balls
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Randomize
