alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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