One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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