I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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