am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
