It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
You pole danced in your parka.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize