You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
