Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
