we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Randomize