just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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