Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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