you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
