i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Randomize
