i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
